5 things you should NOT do in a divorce

  1. Don’t even discuss it with your kids until you have first talked to a counselor and determined the best way to explain it. I have divorced twice and had young kids both times.  They can survive divorce.  They will be sad.  They will play one parent off the other.  They will rebel.  But, they will survive so long as the parents work together and always put the kids before their anger and fear.  Work with a counselor!
  2. Don’t give up an interest in anything before you see an attorney. Don’t move out of the house.  Don’t voluntarily give up money or investments.  Once these things are handed over, they’re difficult to get back.  Divorces aren’t fair and rarely equitable.  If you want the best chance to see that your interests are protected then speak to an attorney before you start dividing things up.
  3. Don’t vent your life on social media! In fact, stay off social media all together until the divorce is over.  It’s too easy to post something at 3 a.m.  Those posts never go away, even if you delete them.  They can still be subpoenaed from Facebook or Twitter or Instagram.  Keep your private life private.
  4. Don’t send a text to anyone unless you’re willing to have it read in court. We all say things we regret.  We all say things out of spite and anger and revenge.  When you send those texts you’re only seeing it through your eyes.  The texts might be justifiable to you, but to an outsider you might look mean, vindictive, selfish or abusive.  Remember, every single text can and will be read by the other attorney.
  5. Don’t forget that you have kids together. Trust me on this.  The anger will fade (unless he/she was physically abusive).  You will have to see this person at graduations and birthdays and weddings….for years to come!  You can either rise above it all by setting your anger aside or you can let yourself be tormented forever by the past.  I speak from personal experience.  In time just try to smile at your ex and be kind.  Your kids and your sanity will both be better off.  And, do it even if they are jack-asses to you.  Be the better person.